Remembering summers with Dad
For my brother Mark and me, this is our first Father’s Day without Dad, who passed away in March. For many years, Alzheimer’s Disease slowly robbed our family of Dad’s full presence. At first, it slightly diminished his exceptional intellect, giving the rest of us a fighting chance to win an occasional round of Liverpool Rummy. As it progressed, this horrible illness stole his words and deprived him of the ability to recount humorous stories from his childhood and verbal expressions of his love for us. Ultimately it claimed his life, long before it should have ended.
Nevertheless, Alzheimer’s Disease cannot and will not steal our memories of a man who humbly and honorably taught two boys how to be an excellent father through his consistent example.
I hope each of you enjoys Father’s Day as much as I enjoy remembering summers with Dad.
Happy Father’s Day
Outdoor adventures
Dad loved spending time outside and shared his enthusiasm with us each summer, guiding us as we explored various outdoor hobbies and sports. A gifted athlete himself, Dad was skilled in baseball, basketball, golf, and many other sports. I appreciate how he encouraged us but never forced us to play a particular sport. I have seen other fathers push their children to follow in their footsteps to recapture their youth. Dad used a different approach. He devoted himself to helping us experience many new activities, such as showing us how to catch a fish or how to hit a baseball.
Dad is holding quite possibly the only fish I ever caught…
Dad knew the best balance of encouragement and instruction to help us find hobbies and paths to success. I remember his kindness one time after I made a crucial mistake while running the bases after a hit. I ran past second base to third and then found myself standing by my fellow teammate at third base! Oops, where did he come from? I was easily tagged out as I ran back to second. Upon my return to the dugout, I could hear other fathers grumbling about my costly gaffe. Dad lovingly explained how to avoid that mistake in the future and, most importantly, assured me that I was loved even in times of failure.
Swing batter…batter…miss!
Each year, Dad and Granddad planted a large vegetable garden with rows of asparagus, okra, pumpkins, watermelon, cantaloupe, green beans, and sometimes corn. When Mark and I were old enough to help with manual labor, we joined them in the tasks of watering and pulling weeds in the garden during the long, hot days of summer. At the time, both of us complained about this hard work, but Dad knew that it would teach us deeper lessons about life itself - the value of working hard so you can enjoy a harvest. I look back at this time fondly, and I credit those lessons learned as the foundations of my work ethic today.
That glazed look after realizing you are going to pick a ton of vegetables…
One of our favorite activities in the summer was playing golf at Adams Municipal Golf Course in Bartlesville. Granddad and Dad had many years of experience playing golf, and it showed. Not only had they mastered the game, but they understood the subtle points of golf etiquette which were often lost on Mark and me. They would kindly show us how to mark our ball position on the green, how to repair divots, how to avoid walking on the green between the pin and another player’s ball, and how to yell “fore!” to warn other players when one of our shots went astray. We learned the last skill very well. Golf strengthened our connections with Dad and Granddad. We heard their stories about learning golf, celebrated (or more often lamented) the current state of the Oklahoma State football program, and shared nuggets of wisdom and humor as we walked the course together in the blazing Oklahoma sun.
Photo taken at the first hole (I know because my hopeful grin is still present)
Hamburgers, ice cream, and slideshows
To me, the highlight of every summer undoubtedly was the celebration of Independence Day and the coinciding visits by aunts, uncles, and cousins. Our house often became the hub for these family reunions, and Mom and Dad were gracious hosts. Mom always prepared her famous baked beans and potato salad to go along with the best hamburgers west of the Mississippi. Dad had the honor of grilling the burgers, perhaps with a little bit of help from his sons, and cranking (for what seemed like hours) the homemade ice cream freezer. The food was fantastic, and laughter always filled the house.
As the last bowls of ice cream were being consumed, Dad prepared the slide projector for the grand finale - a photographic recap of our family’s past year including birthdays, holidays, and vacations. In the days of sharing photos on Instagram and Facebook, I now miss the quaint click-click of the slide projector and the accompanying “oohs”, “ahs” and laughter as we celebrated another year with family. Dad’s warm smiles indicated that he knew the importance of family.
Star-gazing and Star Trek
Summer days often concluded with star-gazing and Star Trek!
Dad, Mark, and I shared a love of astronomy and space exploration. As youths, we could not read enough books about the stars and planets and often tuned-in to NASA television news conferences in which scientists discussed the latest findings and spectacular images from space probes such as Voyager (exploring Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune) and Viking (landing on Mars).
Dad encouraged our love of astronomy by buying us a small telescope which allowed us to view with our own eyes what we had seen in photos and on television. Seeing the rings of Saturn and the moons of Jupiter through our small telescope sparked my imagination and cemented my decision to pursue science or engineering as a career.
I will never forget how Dad made a way for us to see Halley’s Comet in 1986. Early one morning before sunrise he drove us several miles east of town armed with binoculars and star maps hoping to get a glimpse of the famous visitor to the night sky. Although the comet was fuzzy and faint, two boys and one father shared an amazing and unforgettable experience.
Our love of astronomy and space exploration extended into fiction as well, and I can remember spending many late nights as a teenager with Dad and Mark watching the original Star Trek re-runs on television. Although these shows may seem “campy” to viewers today, we recognized the strong stories and relevant messages that apply outside of the realm of science fiction. As I recall, these late-night viewings led to some of the first deep discussions with Dad about many of the problems and injustices that impact our world. Dad’s values continue to shape my own.
May each of you have a wonderful Father’s Day!